This series of Live Feeds on introspection has been a blessing to a multitude of people since it was presented. So I wanted to share it here with the notes included.
We live in a world where we have become very accustomed to talking about other people and their issues rather than looking at ourselves. Turning our focus on who we are will have life changing impacts. We when allow things to get inside our head that come out of our mouth and limits our capabilities.
Do the heart work required to focus on yourself that says,”I’m going to turn a blind eye to other people.” Don’t let other people and their performance in life limit what you can do. Stop feeling responsible for how other people do.
“As For Me…” – Key Phrase for Introspection
Instead of looking at everyone around you and measuring yourself by them take some time for introspection. Focus on you for a while. Let other things go. Let other people’s opinions and positions go. Focus just on you, “as for me…”
You are the only person that you can fix. When you are the best you that you can be you are in a position to make a difference.
I can take control of my destiny when I focus on me. I can’t control the actions of other people, but I can focus on me.
When introspection leads you in the wrong direction here are…
Five Things You Can Quit Immediately
- Trying to please everyone – Because you can’t
- Fearing change – Because you get more of what you reward
- Living in the past – Neither the successes nor the failures will help you future
- Putting yourself down – STOP IT!
- Overthinking everything – You simply don’t know enough to over think
Eliminating these things from your daily life and practice will immediately make a difference in your future. As beneficial as introspection can be don’t let it become an excuse for bad behavior.
Note: the videos are also available on podcasts. You can find the podcasts here.
Learning To Say No As Part Of Better Self-Care
Say No…there are too many nice people in the world today or so it might seem, with the number of yes folks you run into on a daily basis. However, what about the lesser heard evil sibling, the word NO?
As a child, you were raised to be considerate to others. You’re supposed to accommodate them as much as possible.
How do you know exactly when enough is enough? And more importantly, are you saying no to yourself by saying yes to others every time? Chances are that is exactly what you are doing, even if only subliminally.
Wondering when is the time for you to use your no’s successfully? We’ve got you covered!
Piling On Stress
Not being able to say no can greatly contribute to high stress and real quick! Doing too much feelings of overwhelm cause and add to chronic stress, and people who can not say no are usually the first to fall victim.
It is important to understand your own boundaries and limitations, and while helping others is important, you have to take care of yourself.
This means sometimes saying no to friends and family, in order to maintain an optimal level of health and wellness for yourself.
Feelings Of Obligation
This is by far the most common cause of animosity between individuals. We’re basically forced to say yes whether or not we want to. Maybe the person asking did a major favor for you in life, maybe it is a family member.
You feel a sense of obligation to always be on beck and call for whatever that person requests of you, but you need to ask yourself when is my bill paid in full? – will you continue to feel a forced sense of obligation forever?
This constant obligatory situation builds resentment, and resentment can literally make you physically ill!
You need to let them know you have to put yourself first, by doing what you need to do. If an issue arises, it may be best to sever ties and remove a toxic person from your life.
We sincerely hope you are not one of those weekday party animals! Though we fully understand the need to unwind after a tiring week’s work, there is absolutely no justification for staying out late and drinking on a weekday when you have responsibilities to meet the next morning! It is more than likely the result of friends asking or guilting you out even though you’re better sense says no.
You’re not doing yourself any favors as you will be tired the following day. Perhaps even hungover and miserable. Saying yes to that, is saying no to your well-being.
Enabling Bad Behavior
It has happened to all of us before, from a kid asking for something, hearing no and slowly breaking you down, to much worse influences on your life.
From friends begging you to help them get to the airport, to unnecessary spending, while it may seem ok or insignificant at the time, it enables bad behavior and disrespect over the long haul.
It needs to stay that way when you say no. You will gain infinite respect for having unbendable beliefs. You’ll be looked at as a pillar of strength.
Not Speaking Up
There have undoubtedly been numerous times when you sit quietly while something (or someone) boils your blood to the point of an eruption, yet you show no outward emotions. This can range from a boss berating you in the office, a bully, or a random stranger who finds it appropriate to assert their dominance over you.
By allowing it, you are doing just that, rolling over and assuming the fetal position. Open your mouth, demand your respect and speak for what you believe in.
We live under the illusion that things must be ok all the time. You need to look after yourself before you look after anyone else after all, lead by example!
Just as I was completing the final edits of this article I was put to the test. You see, I have trouble saying no as well. I was completing the banner (the last thing I do before I publish) when I got a message. A friend asked me if I could do something for them. I normal would have simply said yes. Then made the necessary adjustments to my schedule (insert burning a few more hours after midnight). Not this time! I explained that I had work that needed to be done. I had clients that were counting on me to do my job. The victory…I felt empowered, not guilty.
How well do you manage your time? If you are having problems at home or at work, there is a good chance that your problems may be caused by your inability to manage your life.
- Recognize That You Have a Problem
Knowing that you have a time management problem is the first step in changing your behavior. It is typical to be late for work or a social event on occasion, it is something that should not be happening on a daily or a weekly basis. If you’re constantly missing deadlines or finding yourself trying to catch up, there is a problem. You may have a problem!
- Decide To Change
Knowing that you have a time management problem is important, but wanting to change is even more important. You need to set goals for yourself, as these goals can help to provide you with a source of motivation. Sample goals include showing up to work on time for a whole month, being on time for all dinner dates, and so forth.
- Stick To Your Goals
Creating a number of time management goals for you to meet is advised, but it is important that you don’t give up right away or when you are faced with complications. Setting goals simply just isn’t enough, you need to stick with them.
- Create Daily Task Lists
Creating a to do list for yourself is an easy way to properly manage your time. The simple of act of crossing an item off your list provides the boost you need to tackle the next item. It is one of the easiest approaches that you can take.
- Rely On Management Tools
Properly managing your day is important, but it can be hard for many individuals to get use to, especially right away. If you are one of those individuals, you will want to consider using time management tools to your advantage. Did you know that many cell phones and computers come with alarm clocks, alerts, and so much more? One of my favorite tools can be found at the Action Fast Lane.
- Learn How To Say No
In all honesty, there are occasions where you may not be able to refuse a project at work or a task at home, but try to not take on more than you can accomplish. At work an honest conversation about time/project management can help. In the home, this outside help can come from a housecleaner.
- Get Organized
Organization is key to being able to properly manage your time. If you are unorganized, you are likely to waste a large amount of your precious resource. Clutter is a major distraction. Remove it!
- Consider Hiring Professional Help
As previously stated, if you are overwhelmed at home, you may want to call on a professional housecleaner. In addition to taking this approach, there are other professionals that you can target. For the small business owner managing your own books is a time trap. Hire an accountant. There are individuals and companies who specialize in teaching others how to effectively manage their time and stay organized.
- Recognize That You Have a Problem
Take the Time Management Assessment…